eromenn-gay: 2013

24 listopada 2013

Mary Cheney Isn't Supporting Sister Liz for Senate Mary Cheney isn't keeping quiet about her disappointment with her sister's opposition to marriage equality.

In her latest public statement, Mary Cheney tells Politico Magazinethat she is "not working, not contributing, and not voting for" her sister Liz Cheney in Wyoming.

It isn't that Mary Cheney is rooting for the Senate bid to fail. But “I’m not supporting Liz’s candidacy,” she told the magazine via email.

Mary Cheney is an experienced political operative, having helped her father, Dick Cheney, run for vice president. She's not sat quietly on the sidelines, though, as Liz Cheney announced her opposition to same-sex marriage in August. Instead, she and her wife have made a series of public condemnations.

Her first response came via Facebook. "For the record, I love my sister, but she is dead wrong on the issue of marriage," Mary Cheney wrote in August after Liz Cheney issued a statement to clarify that she's "not pro-gay marriage." The candidate was responding to push polling that suggested she'd promoted marriage equality.

Since then, a PAC has run TV ads further attacking Liz Cheney as not antigay enough. She went on Fox News Sunday this weekend and answered questions about her lesbian sister and children by saying, "I love her family very much," but then added, “This is just an issue on which we disagree.”

Mary Cheney took to Facebook almost immediately afterward to share a long post from her wife, Heather Poe, who explained why she's "very disappointed" in her sister-in-law and found her political position "offensive." Mary Cheney shared the post and wrote, "Couldn't have said it better myself."

The two sisters are reportedly not on speaking terms, according to Politico and The New York Times,but Mary Cheney addressed her sister directly on Facebook: "Liz, this isn't just an issue on which we disagree — you're just wrong — and on the wrong side of history."

Even the debate on Facebook is contentious. A friend, Gina Bluher Morrison, responded, "Sorry, Mary. I'm with Liz on this one. Can't you all just accept Liz's position and remain lovingly tolerant? She has her opinion, you have yours."

And yet again Mary Cheney piped up: "Gina — this isn't like a disagreement over grazing fees or what to do about Iran. There isn't a lot of gray here. Either you think all families should be treated equally or you don't. Liz's position is to treat my family as second class citizens. That's not a position I can be 'lovingly tolerant' towards."

Read the complete profile of the two sisters at Politico Magazine.

TAGS: LIZ CHENEY, MARY CHENEY

Op-ed: The Key to Happy Retirement Why finding a place of one's own in retirement is a crucial step to happiness.

For most, happiness in retirement is resort living, but for LGBT people, a rewarding retirement also includes the basic need that most Americans take for granted: feeling accepted. But today, LGBT seniors can have a relaxing, carefree retirement, and companionship among like-minded friends without the fear of prejudice.

Although there has been much advancement in the LGBT movement, the stigma of a so-called alternative lifestyle among older generations keeps social isolation and the development of mental illness highly common among today’s LGBT elders. A recent study funded by the National Institutes of Health and the National Institute on Aging found that there are a high percentage of LGBT seniors who suffer from depression and loneliness because they retreat to living alone and minimizing contact with the outside world as they age. The report indicated that 59 percent of LGBT elders feel that they lack companionship, 53 percent felt isolated from others, and 53 percent felt left out.

But these emotional and psychological concerns are becoming less critical with the growing number of retirement options geared toward LGBT seniors popping up across the U.S. Today, LGBT seniors have the option of living in retirement communities geared toward them. One of them is Fountaingrove Lodge, the nation’s first LGBT continuing care retirement community, where I am the executive director.

Fountaingrove Lodge is a first of its kind to give LGBT seniors a place to enjoy a meaningful retirement in a community of friends, with the option of medical services.

Since developer Oakmont Senior Living broke ground on the project, LGBT seniors from across the country have reserved their place in the community. It only proves that we all want a place to feel happy, welcomed, and comfortable.

JOSEPH SARTO is the executive director of Fountaingrove Lodge in Santa Rosa, Calif.

PSA Shines Spotlight on Violence Against Russian LGBTs An advocacy organization has released the first in a series of videos that draws attention to the plight faced by LGBT Russians.

An organization had released a stirring public service announcement that conveys the reality of the violence faced by LGBTs Russians.

Titled "The Scream," the video reenacts a scene from a real-life media image, in which a photographer stands by to record a man being assaulted. "To you they are just pictures," the concluding text reads. "For them, it's real life."

(We are) #GayPropaganda, the group that released the first of three planned PSAs, is raising awareness of Russia's antigay politics and culture through YouTube videos and other social media outlets. Its leaders are encouraging LGBT people and their allies worldwide to implement their own social networks to do the same.

“We are proud to release our first of three media pieces in an effort to humanize and more clearly illustrate the escalating violence against LGBT people in Russia,” says Kevin Dolan, cofounder of the organization. “Social media has given us a platform to communicate who we are and what we believe. Our presence and the use of '#GayPropaganda' seeks to reclaim this term by unifying the conversations in order to provide education, support, and empowerment to LGBT people and their allies with an unshakable belief in the power of community.”

Watch the video below.

http://youtu.be/JAVoGYLn0t0

TAGS: GAY PROPAGANDA, RUSSIA

Op-ed: The Pitfalls of Dating and Mating With Social Media How social media has ruined the allure of dating.

At the beginning of any romance, both parties usually attempt to place their best foot forward. The effort to dazzle a dinner mate often leads to witty banter, talk about dreams of a family, or sharing excellent taste in music. This all works if the blossoming relationship exists inside a vacuum. But in the era of drunken status updates, unwanted photo tags, and check-ins at the trashy bar you claim never to frequent, your best foot forward might already be covered in social media shit.

Admit it. If you didn’t already Facebook-stalk the man you're meeting for Friday night plans, you most definitely will afterward. The updates he posts, the photos he takes, and the statuses he likes have become equally as important as the words out of his mouth. During dinner, one of you may even sporadically reference an application on your iPhone to illustrate a story you’re telling or to give a visual of your best friend, who is just too fabulous to describe in words. At face value, social media may seem like merely another tool to get to know a person. In reality, Facebook and Instagram portray a distorted, disjointed, and altogether imaginary version of ourselves.

There are many social media offenses that can lead your senses astray when evaluating a potential mate. Maybe your new man has perfected the art of portraying himself as a lover of travel or has taken multiple pictures carrying the cutest kids you’ve ever seen on his shoulders. It would be hard for anyone not to fall in love with this catalog husband on your computer screen.

Before you even sit down to dinner, the vision of your perfect children and exotic honeymoon to Bora Bora is already swimming around your brain. The problem with falling in love with someone’s two-dimensional depiction of their profile is that you never know what lies beyond their sparkling smile in front of the Taj Mahal. After all, his photos might just be the most exciting thing about him. And why is he always traveling by himself?

Then there are rare occasions when you meet someone using an archaic style of interaction — in person. He made you laugh, he was charming, and you left dinner a little intrigued. But you just couldn’t wait until he returned from his work trip, so you decided to perform a harmless Internet search. Some guys are just not very photogenic. Suddenly you’re questioning the real connection you had because you are having trouble picturing your wedding photos together. Or maybe his statuses leave a little to be desired. Forget being witty in person; his interests utterly bore you. So, even though your first impression of him was solid, your date with his social media profile left you unsure if you’ll accept the next dinner invitation.

These are just a few examples of how social media has hijacked so many would-be relationships — online profiles, new “friends,” and unwanted notifications can also cause problems once a relationship has begun. We have all been guilty of going through our current flavor du jour’s photos only to see old pictures of a former flame. Suddenly you have burbling feelings of jealousy all because of some stale images of times long ago. You are his present, but social media has you living in his past.

The truth is, the content and character of a possible love should be revealed in layers. The development of a fruitful relationship takes effort, and it is impossible to reach a level of depth with a person by meticulously piecing apart their Facebook caricature.

The Cliff’s Notes of a person’s life will never give you an accurate representation. We create the image we want to convey through our online media addictions. It’s much easier to convey the reality we want to portray on the Internet than to live it in real life.

My own Facebook portrays a character, but the real thing is surely more complex. It would be easy to choose our boyfriends and husband based on our social media compatibility. Unfortunately, the longevity of such matchmaking would be about as good as your iPhone battery life.

Sure, social media profiles can be used as supplemental reading when studying a person’s qualifications as a potential plus one. But you are wasting your time if you use things like Facebook and Instagram to learn about content required to answer all the right questions.

When it comes to dating and mating, sometimes it helps to unplug in order to connect.

21 listopada 2013

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Gej miesza mojej przyjaciółce w sercu i głowie!

Nie mogę patrzeć jak moja przyjaciółka została zmanipulowana przez homoseksualistę, który utrzymuje z nią kontakty chyba tylko po to, żeby ukryć swoją orientację seksualną. Nie wiem, jak jej pomóc, bo jest zakochana i głucha na moje argumenty. Nie znam człowieka osobiście i nie mogę nawiązać z nim kontaktu, ponieważ mieszkam w innym mieście, a z przyjaciółką widuję się sporadycznie i nigdy w obecności tego mężczyzny.

Gej miesza mojej przyjaciółce w sercu i głowie!

Poznała go zaledwie w pół roku po rozwodzie. Pracowali razem. Zaczęło się od wspólnej kawki, wspólnych lunchów, a potem było kino, spacery, knajpy. Jak w normalnym związku, tylko bez czułostek. Szybko zaprosił ją na wesele jako osobę towarzyszącą. I gdy ona była już pewna, że oto spotkała wreszcie upragnioną miłość swego życia, on się nagle ujawnił. Powiedział jej, że jest gejem, ale zaznaczył, że bardzo ją lubi i ma nadzieję, że jego orientacja nie przekreśli ich znajomości. Ona mu nie uwierzyła, wzięła to za głupi żart. Po kilku rozmowach wreszcie to do niej dotarło, jednak była już w takim stadium zakochania, że chyba jej na mózg siadło, postanowiła, że ona go odmieni, że jest im tak dobrze ze sobą, że on może nie jest wcale gejem, tylko mu się wydaje. Swoim planem podzieliła się ze mną i zaczęła go wcielać w życie.

Nie wiem, jak wykształcona osoba po studiach może tak zwariować, żeby nie zauważać, że jest zwyczajnie wykorzystywana. Ten człowiek korzysta z jej naiwności, by w małym mieście mieć przykrywkę. Przecież gdy pojawi się z nią kilka razy w miejscu publicznym, nikt już się nie zdziwi, gdy zobaczy go innym razem z mężczyzną w tym samym pubie. Na okoliczność wesel lub imienin ciotki taka kobieta też się przydaje, nikt już nie pyta, dlaczego mieszka sam, dlaczego się nie żeni. Wszyscy czekają na rozwój wydarzeń.

Zaczęły się telefony, po kilka dziennie – a to że na nią spojrzał tak jakoś inaczej, a to że musnął jej dłoni, rękawa, pleców, policzków etc., a to że spojrzał bardziej, a to że gapił się na biust, pupę, nogi itp. a to że miał wyraźnie maślane oczy, na przywitanie pocałował ją tak jakby mocniej, niż zwykle. Nie mogłam tego słuchać. Gadałam, gadałam, ona przyznawała rację, dziękowała za moją trzeźwość. Za kilka dni płakała w słuchawkę, że to jest silniejsze od niej, że doznała od niego tyle dobra i że tak bardzo by chciała, żeby im się ułożyło.

Była świetnym materiałem dla ukrywającego się geja. Po rozwodzie, zdradzana, bita, a tu pojawił się książę, dżentelmen, co to gary w domu pozmywa po kolacji, drzwi do samochodu otwiera, zaprasza na obiad, prosi do tańca, przytuli, rękę pocałuje, poklepie po ramieniu. Do tego przystojny, pachnący, ładnie ubrany, samodzielny, zarabiający, bez nałogów, z poczuciem humoru, rodzina i znajomi go uwielbiają. No cud, miód i malina.

Niby chłopak zachował się fair, ale nie do końca. On cały czas trzyma rękę na pulsie, wie, że Magda jest zakochana, i to wykorzystuje. Gdy tylko ona zaczyna się za moimi namowami oddalać od niego, mówi mi do słuchawki, że to nie ma sensu, że czas się rozejrzeć za kimś innym, on nagle się pojawia, znów ją przytuli, powie coś zabawnego, zabierze w miłe miejsce i wszystko jej wraca.

Nienawidzę tego gościa! Nie wiem, jak jej pomóc. Może miałaby szanse znaleźć sobie kogoś, ale on ją blokuje, wysyła otoczeniu sygnał, że ona jest zajęta, a przede wszystkim miesza jej w sercu, choć widzi jak cierpi. Gdyby był w porządku, zakończyłby tę relację i dał jej spokój.

Macie jakieś pomysły, jak postępować z takim człowiekiem?

Kasia Kosik